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iTunes Library & media location drama

Please Please PLEASE, will somebody help me!!? I am going to try and articulate my problem as best I can, but its kind of tricky.

I have transferred all my media from my macbook onto a new iMac. My girlfriend and I share this computer, we have a user account each on the machine. After much faffing around, we managed to get the media files and the library files all in the shared folder with the permissions set so that both of us can access the media and use the same library file.

It seems that in the process of doing this, my iTunes library file has lost its connection with the location of the media (I had already set up the Library on my account, then after encountering difficulties with sharing, we had to move the media in order to get things working on my girlfriends account)

I do not let iTunes create new copies of everything when I import files into the iTunes library, and prefer to manually add files to the location I store the media, then add to the library from there.

My problem is that everything is connected and working fine on my girlfriends account, but my library can't find any of the files. I have changed the locations in the preferences, but it still insists that I manually "locate" each song. If I try and use the option of having iTunes locate other media based on the location of a particular track, it goes into lock down, the pinwheel comes out and then it becomes unresponsive, I have a lot of files, so this is semi-understandable.

I can't get iTunes to duplicate all the files and place in a new location as I will then have 2 copies of all my media, one for my library and one for my girlfriends, as soon as I move hers, then she will have the problem I am now having.

Why can't I clear my library and just point itunes to the locations of all my media again? Is there any way to fix this without duplicating all the media, or doing all the heavy lifting myself, or locating the files one by one?

Surely there is a solution to this, but I can't find an answer to my specific problem via google as its so specific.

Users>Shared>iTunes - is the location of the library files
Users>Shared>iTunes Media>Music - is the location of the music (there is also a subfolder for Movies)

If anyone may be able to shed some light I would be very appreciative. Sorry If this is a duplicate of another question or thread, I have searched through so many trying to find an answer that I may be blinded to the answer.


cheers
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